Navigating The Abyss
Photo Credits: Joe Penley
What are the Espoir Reports, and what does espoir even mean? Espoir is a French word meaning hope or prospect. It is also the name used in Europe for cyclists racing in the U23 category (19 to 22 years old). The English translation provides an important distinction for those of us racing in the espoir category: we are hopefuls, prospects even, but not professionals. Of course, a few exceptional individuals jump straight from juniors (18 and under category) to the professional ranks. However, that is not the case for most aspiring pro cyclists. Us mere mortals ascend from the comfort of the junior ranks to a purgatory category called espoirs, a vast abyss where, for most, dreams of becoming a pro cyclist go to die. The journey through the abyss is especially challenging for those of us based in the US, where elite-level races are slipping through our fingers, and you can count the number of U23 development programs on less than one hand. It’s a time when parents often begin to pull their financial support, and the realities of adult life start to sink in slowly. All this to say, in the United States, an espoirs path to the pros is murky at best. At this very moment, my teammates and I live in the abyss of the espoir. I know this story might seem a little grim, but please, don’t let me give you the wrong idea. I live for this journey, and I can confidently say the same is true for my teammates and peers.
But why? Why dedicate a huge portion of our young lives to a sport that, at the moment, provides no return on investment and shows only a sliver of hope of one day making it to the pros? The answer to that is simple: there is still hope. It’s a hope that burns within us, instilled from the first time we fell in love with bike racing. That moment when we blew out the candles, wished upon a star, and vowed to ourselves that we would one day line up at the start of a Grand Tour or a Spring Classic alongside the greats of our sport. A dream that we have worked towards for as long as we can remember, fueled by a hunger in our belly that won’t seem to go away. A hunger that will keep us going as long as that dim light at the end of the tunnel keeps shining.
In reality, this relentless, ambitious pursuit is only possible through the endless support each of us has received throughout our years of racing. The expression ‘it takes a village’ may be overused in this context, but it rings true. From parents to teams to coaches to mentors to great friends, the list of supporters it takes to succeed in this sport is extensive. I have been incredibly fortunate to have had fantastic support systems backing me throughout my racing career. My teammates and I are not alone in this journey, and we are lucky to have a tremendous team backing us as we pursue our dreams.
I race for Kelly Benefits Cycling, a U23 development team out of Baltimore, Maryland. We race at the Domestic Elite level in the United States and in U23/Elite races in Europe. This year, our team comprises ten riders hailing from all around the country. Our team has college students, pro cyclocrossers, and kids living out of their parent’s basements. Although our journeys to Kelly vary, we share an immense love for cycling, a desire to win bike races, and a drive to pursue the highest level of bike racing. I have created the Espoir Reports as a place for me to share our stories and race experiences as my teammates and I tackle the season. Follow along on my socials and here on my blog, where I will keep you updated on my teams' progress through write-ups after each of our major races this season. The first report will be coming up fast as our team takes on the Redlands Bicycle Classic from April 10 through the 14th in sunny California!
Disclaimer: In this post, the language I use describing broad categories comes from my own personal experience and is not a generalization of the experiences of all people of said categories.
